By: Heather Seebach
10. Rambo (2008) –50-Cal Machine Gun Attack
Browning M2 machine guns have been around since the 1930s, so what makes this scene so ridiculous and even funny? Try using said monster gun on a terrorist sitting five feet away. The result is an explosion of glass, guts, and metal in the front seat of a jeep. Rambo then proceeds to cut a dozen guys clean in half with the 50-caliber machine gun. The carnage takes on absurd heights throughout the entire movie (bare-handed throat rip!) but this scene is the ultimate representation of overkill – literally.
9. Hard Ticket to Hawaii (1987) – Skater’s Death
Guys who skateboard on their hands for no reason kinda deserve to die. Actually, calling yourself “Skater” is reason enough to die. So luckily for us, this idiot encounters a pair of muscleheads who happen to be toting a multi-barreled bazooka. Then again, these dudes seem to be invulnerable to a bullet in the chest, so it’s actually not surprising that they should have a bazooka in their backseat. What is surprising, however, is how backing into someone with a jeep can launch them hundreds of feet into the air. And the inexplicable blow-up doll is just the cherry on this shit sundae.
8. The Stuff (1985) – "Oh God, Charlie"
Garrett Morris may have starred on SNL for five years, but in my book, he has never been funnier than when a white, gelatinous parasite was bursting out of his face. Between the hilarious latex head and Andrea Marcovicci’s reaction, this scene is pure B-movie gold.
7. Machine Girl (2008) – Exploding Face
As you might imagine from a Japanese flick about a girl with a machine gun arm, this movie is a bit insane. There is a drill bra, a flying guillotine, and limbs deep fried like tempura. But my absolute favorite gore scene occurs when Ami (aka Machine Girl) takes on a trio of ninjas. Her gun mutilates one of them, causing his facial skin to fly off like the pedals of a blooming lily. Meanwhile, the hyperkinetic zooming of the camera enhances the ridiculousness of it all.
Skip to 3:30 (or just enjoy all the insanity):
Skip to 3:30 (or just enjoy all the insanity):
6. Hausu (1977) – Death-By Piano
Steadily becoming a midnight staple at art houses across America, Hausu is a batshit crazy Japanese film about…well, I’m not completely sure. You truly have to see it for yourself. The film is full of pure absurdity but my favorite wacky death scene (with the lampshade scene a close second) involves a girl being devoured by a piano. As if that concept is not ridiculous enough, throw in some magic cats, lightening, goldfish, and a dancing skeleton.
5. Deadly Friend (1986) – Mama Fratelli Loses Her Head
From the mind of Wes Craven came this campy little gem about a murderous robotic Kristy Swanson. A generally mediocre horror film, Deadly Friend is elevated by this one incredible scene. Who knew basketballs could be so deadly? Aside from the obvious absurdity here, I am particularly fond of Anne Ramsey (aka “that mean old woman from Goonies”) and her hilariously premature scream.
4. Basket Case 3: The Progeny (1992) – Belial Chokes a Bitch
Reaction shots are often the cornerstone of an amazing over-the-top scene. This particular clip has not one but two fantastic reaction shots. Add to that one of the most awesomely bad creature FX ever put on film and you have the kind of madness that only Frank Henenlotter (Brain Damage, Frankenhooker) could come up with.
3. Le Bagman: Profession Meurtrier (2004) – Bagman vs. Punks
This French direct-to-DVD film is only 20 minutes long, and 10 of those minutes are dedicated to pure, nonstop carnage. A group of thugs summon the killer Bagman by saying his name three times and he wreaks havoc on the wannabe gangstas. He decapitates, disembowels, and does just about everything you can image to these guys. The gore effects range from hilariously amateur to genuinely impressive, but overall the film recalls the splattery fun of an early Peter Jackson film. Look forward to the forthcoming Jason Eisener-produced feature Turbo Kid, also made by Roadkill Superstar (RKSS).
2. Dead Alive (1992) – 10-Minute Zombie Massacre
Speaking of Peter Jackson, this one is like the granddaddy of gore films. The entire movie is off-the-charts with over-the-top gore and other nastiness, but the 10-minute lawnmower massacre scene toward the end is unlike anything else. Every single zombie death is equally insane and brilliant. My personal favorite is when tiny arms sprout from each side of Rita’s head and proceed to rip her face open, revealing a giggling zombie baby who then walks her corpse around like a puppet. Can you believe anyone let this director make The Lord of the Rings?
1. Riki-Oh: The Story of Ricky (1991) – Every Death Scene
If Dead Alive is the granddaddy of gore, then Riki-Oh is its crazy Asian uncle. In this campy kung-fu classic, the insanity is endless. Ricky punches a hole in a guy’s stomach; shatters hands with his fist; and literally punches someone’s jaw off his face. It has everything you love about regular kung-fu flicks – the bad dubbing, arterial spray, etc. – only exaggerated a thousand times. Every single death/mutilation scene in this flick is gold. Under no circumstances should this movie ever be missed.
